love vigilantes 🎸

Part 1 of 2...

All parents have expectations -- carving out a road where we went to school, found a job, got married, and had kids. The recipe for “growing up”. 📝

And while we stayed on that road somewhat, alienation and a sense of powerlessness often steered us down an alternative path. Whatever made us feel seen, heard, alive, we found our ways to scream -- quietly, and sometimes loudly. Music. 🎤 Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam and the like. Our own peaceful protesting. 👊🏽

Kurt Cobain who would have turned 54 this February. I was telling my kids about guitar smashing. 🎸 And how amazing and relatable it was. ‘Why?’ they asked, dumbfounded. 👀

Remember going into record shops, asking for some ‘good music’? One magical day, I was handed a CD: New Order’s Substance. 💿 “Trust me”, said the clerk.

Did he know he was about to change my life? 👀

Pushing boundaries and looking for meaning, we were constantly searching for more. Drawn to a common angst and darkness, music is one of the ways we thumbed our noses at society. 🖕🏽It mimicked how we felt, our aggression -- and all the while we still tread softly in the spotlight of those great expectations. Crushed on a daily basis, in and out of LOVE, crying into pillows, then lifted to soaring highs -- what a life of extremes. 😳 Self-doubt and loathing — and immense guilt over feeling that way at all. 😞

Out of all that loneliness -- reacting in defiance wherever we could -- risky behaviour and rule-breaking followed. 😱

Oh the envelopes we pushed! 📨

Stumbling around in our own darkness, we somehow emerged. Thick skinned survivors who reflect now. ☝🏽 All those missteps led us to who we are today. A path we needed to take on that journey to self acceptance. 👣

No one ever assured us: The universe will take care of you. 🌍 Self-love, affirmations, and manifesting — today bolded, underlined, and real — are concepts that just did not exist... 📝

So how does this inform the way we live today?

What do we pass on? 🤷🏻‍♀️